September 9, 2020
I suffered a touch of withdrawal after my closure today. I have been actively working my garden since April. For the most part, it is now gone. I had removed the stocks from the pea and bean containers last month and had given up on my peppers a couple of weeks ago. I finally resigned myself that there were not going to be any more tomatoes and removed those stocks today (even though I did have one flower left). The good thing about removal is there is a 10’ swath of grass behind the patio so I have been able to just throw the plants on that area. I have done the same when I weed the planters. Then I run over them with my mulching mower and I am done. I am not sure what that does to the grass, but it does not seem to be adversely affected.
I preformed another act of closure today. Melissa’s dad had move to an assisted living apartment and then into a nursing home before he died last year. That meant most of his personal items had either been donated or given away. We still had one large suitcase with his clothes. I had been ready to take those to Goodwill at the first of the year, but then they stopped accepting donations. They have been open for donations now for several months, but I just never got around to it. This had been in our back bedroom taking up space. I decided it was time and dropped them at the store.
The final closure came with Bella’s pet care items. Some were stored in our bathroom and others in the same back bedroom as the suitcase. Most of the other items we had either given to a shelter or were on the top of our pantry shelf. I gathered up her dog beds and rugs, the toys she had left, put her shampoos in a plastic bag to keep them from leaking, and put them in a box with her name on it. I put our green eggs and ham glasses in with her Dr. Seuss jacket. It would not be the same without the puppy.
THOUGHTS: We have lost so much this year. It is more than just the time spent indoors. We have lost a year with family and friends. Some have lost loved ones. I know that closure needs to come. It is part of the grieving process. But it is hard. I also know closure does not mean to forget. We have the memories. Some good and others not so much. We have the joy in the eyes of a child who understands why she is wearing a mask, along with the tears of another when they learned their school would not be open. We have given up so much to get to where we are. Do not throw it all away. Follow the science. Do the work. Change is coming and it starts with you.