February 11, 2023

My NY Times feed this morning mentioned since Valentine’s Day was fast approaching (February 14th if you forgot) that it was a good time to mention the language of love.  This started with the intimate pet names couples use for each other and how they are sometimes dropped in public, giving the hearer a “mixture of alienating and thrilling” feeling.  Apparently, the author thought this was TMI.  On that note, they moved on to the cryptic messages contained on the candy hearts that arrive every year at this time.  These messages are limited to nine letters at most and are often fewer.   I like to eat these early in the season before the candy turns hard and difficult to chew.  This tends to remind me of past relationships that took the same course.  What really intrigued me was an addon note that the Five Love Languages has been around for 30 years.

When I looked online, I found The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate is a 1992 book by Gary Chapman.  Chapman outlines five general ways romantic partners express and experience love, which he calls “love languages”.  These are acts of service, gift-giving, physical touch, quality time, and words of affirmation.  Chapman goes on to give examples from his

counseling practice, as well as questions to help determine your own (and your partners) love languages.  According to Chapman’s theory, each person has one primary and one secondary love language.  The implication is if you can discover another person’s love language, you can act toward them in ways that demonstrate you care for them.  The book sold 8,500 copies in its first year, 17,000 the next, and 137,000 two years later.  It was on the New York Times Best Seller list from 2009 to 2013 and a revised edition of The Five Love Languages was released on January 1, 2015.

I came across a product review of The 5 Love Languages on  This rated the book from a variety of perspectives.  On the expertise of the author, “Gary is a well-recognized speaker and counselor when it comes to relationships . . . he has been on over 400 radio stations.”  The book is not only affordable advice but is applicable to almost every relationship as seen in the spinoffs (5 Love Languages for the Workplace, etc.).  The book is not written for relationships in trouble and much of it pertains to how to prevent discord.  There are 13,135 reviewers for the site that had given feedback on The 5 Love Languages and have given the book a five star rating, notable for the relationship genre.

THOUGHTS:  I noticed another piece of advice in the review that rang true when it said you would need to read the book in its entirety (208 pages) and then put the ideas into practice.  I have found love and relationships can (and should) take a lot of time, as anything does that is worthwhile.  Act for all.  Change is coming and it starts with you.

FYI: This information is being provided in advance so you can get ready prior to Valentine’s Day.  While I gave you a week to prepare for the GBBC, you only get four days to prepare for Valentine’s.  Hopefully it will be enough.  A last second bag of last year’s candy hearts may not do the job.

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