August 5, 2020

I have always enjoyed cooking.  I have mentioned how I rarely use a recipe but still seem to be able to put together a dish and even complete meals.  Since Melissa has been driving to Northwest Arkansas, I have taken the responsibility to have dinner ready or at least prepped, by the time she gets home.  This allows us time to relax, have our now nightly “conversation,” and eat before the Royals come on.  While I enjoy cooking and even see this as my daily gift to her, I sometimes struggle to come up with something different to make.

If left to my own devices, I usually fall back on rice or pasta.  That has been harder now as we have been counting calories as both dishes are circumspect carbs.  I try to mix in different types of salads as a side dish.  Even I have realized people do not live on carbs alone.  I occasionally have the salad as an entree, but struggle with this.  Every time I focus on the salad, I end up hungry just in time for bed, not a good combination.  The other thing I try is to serve fish or a vegetable-based dish.  Melissa is not big on fish, but I have been slowly weaning her over.

The one fish Melissa does like (aside from fried catfish, she IS southern), is salmon.  She will not make it herself, but she likes the various ways I fix it.  Tonight, I baked the salmon and prepared a peach and avocado chutney to go along with it.   We had a small side salad (we ran out of lettuce).  We also received some Anaheim Peppers from our gardener friend which I stuffed with shrimp, cheeses, and just the right amount of crushed red pepper.  It all turned out great.  More important, it was something different.

THOUGHTS:  I remember mom telling me about how she would sit in the women’s circle and listen to the proud mothers tell about their seven or eight-year-old daughters helping in the kitchen.  She never had the heart to tell them her four-year-old son had been making his own breakfast for the last year.  I even had my own cookbook, handed down from my sister (I used it then).  Trying new ways of cooking and different types of food has been with me ever since.  We are in a time when we are trying new ways and different approaches.  We have been shown the old ways no longer work.  I am sure for many, they never did.  Change is coming and it starts with you.

August 4, 2020

The tops of my potato plants died about ten days ago.  That is all but for two.  I have been waiting to harvest until all the plants died but gave up today and decided to tear into the dead ones.  I was not worried about leaving them in the ground as it was suggested this will help put a patina on the skin to help them stay fresh after they are harvested.  Once I got started, I got excited and went ahead and harvested all eight of the hills.  Now I have some fresh spuds for dinner.

When a new director came on, he arrived amid a “Barney Fife Day” at our office.  I tried to keep things light with Friday donuts and the occasional afternoon get together.  This time we showed taped episodes of the Andy Griffith show and everyone came dressed as one of the shows characters.  He came in and was introduced and asked who was responsible.  I proudly responded it was me.  He responded, “Let’s never do this again.”

While we never did it in the office, we did hold the First Annual Spud Days in a park up one of the nearby canyons.  This was a series of silly competitions and included the awarding of small trophies to the winners.  We also had a potluck supper which was common for our division.  The highlight for the “games” was the opening ceremonies.  Four of us dressed up in wild knee-length golfing pants (homemade naturally) and teed up baked potatoes.  We all swung at once and the potatoes went everywhere.  It was the perfect start of a night of fun.

THOUGHTS:  I have used the word Spud both lovingly and derisively.  I called my son a spud when he was born because he was so cute and cuddly.  I have called someone who seems to be brainless a spud (or Mr. Potato Head).  I marvel that in this time of pandemic our legislators are still trying to cancel what is disparaged as Obamacare.  We have 30 million people who have lost jobs and are on unemployment.  Most have either lost insurance or been forced into new insurance programs.  The only thing keeping many afloat as they struggle with the cost of fighting the disease is this program, and we are trying to make it unconstitutional.  I believe we would get a rapid response if we made these same politicians live with the insurance rates and plans most of us have.  It is past time for universal health care.  Change is coming and it starts with you.

August 3, 2020

I went to the eye doctor last week to get a checkup.  I had my temperature taken when I entered the locked door.  She got a puzzled look and took it again.  Then she said, “That cannot be right.  It is way too low.”  I told her my forehead was wet from the rain.  She took it again, shrugged and wrote it down (96.6).  I answered all the (now) normal questions and sat down to wait.  The assistant came over and led me into a room where she asked the same set of questions again and had me sign waivers.  She explained that part of my procedure would require me to have my eyes dilated.  I agreed, signed another waiver, and then went through the preliminary exam.

When I was in Berkeley, I got an eye infection and had to switch from contacts to glasses for a while.  I have never liked glasses since being told I needed them in Junior High.  Somehow this pair became “lost” and I never had them replaced.   Now I had no choice.  I had my eyes dilated as part of the exam.  After the exam was over, they told me I could select my new frames from any of the ones hanging on the wall.  I looked them over and selected a pair I could live with.  When I looked at the price, I could not read it because of the dilation.  I choose several pair, just to be safe.  It turns out every pair I selected were from the expensive section.  When they showed me the cheap ones, I ended up buying the pair I liked.

The doctor told me I was fine and just in a normal aging process.  I told the assistant I did not need the paper sunglasses she offered as I had my pair in the car.  She gave them to me anyway.  I purposefully left them in the exam room, but she brought them out saying I had “forgotten” them.  After settling the bill, I said they could keep their sunglasses.  They were skeptical but did not argue.  As I went out the door I was told if I had trouble getting to the car to let them know.  When I walked outside the sun was shining brightly and it nearly knocked me down.  I squinted my eyes near closed and wobbled my way to the car.  I donned my glasses and finally found some relief.  Maybe I should have paid attention.

THOUGHTS:  As we struggle through the pandemic we have been told (and shown) what it takes to get back to some semblance of normal.  Many are taking the attitude that I took toward my dilation.  We hear the warnings but seem to think those are for other people and not for me. After all, how bad can it be?  I found out it can literally be blinding as I struggled to get to the car.  America has found out it can be 4.6 million cases and 154,000 deaths.  Perhaps they are called experts for a reason.  Change is coming and it starts with you.

August 1, 2020

After my visit to the Hospital I decided to reward myself and go fishing.  I have not had much luck lately (I blame the heat; it could not be me) so I decided to go to a lake where I always catch fish.  This is also located on the way home so I thought this would be perfect.  When I arrived, there were a few cars but only one family group fishing.  Many people come to this lake for the hiking trail which winds along the water.  Being mindful of others, I put on my mask before setting my chair along the shore.

There was another group about 50’ away with what appeared to be a grandfather, grandmother, daughter, and her son.  It was obvious this was the boys first fishing adventure as the grandfather was instructing him how to fish.  I clearly overheard (without trying; he was talking loudly) him tell how to cast, how to reel, and where the best spot was located.  I also noticed none of them wore the masks now mandated in our state.  This was another teachable moment he obviously did not think mattered.

My son Alex had texted and shared pictures last week about taking his two-year-old son on his first camping trip and fishing expedition.  As I listened to the grandfather explain about fishing it made me sad that we are not closer to where the grandkids live.  We live in Arkansas and they live outside of Seattle.  We have been able to get to Seattle several times a year, but with the pandemic we are not even considering flying and to drive would take us through states forcing Melissa to quarantine from work when we returned.  As for now we are forced to settle for Facetime calls.

THOUGHTS:  Amid our crisis the world seems to be moving at a slower pace.  This has blessed us with new opportunities for learning.  During the lock down portion, I explored ways to communicate I had never cared about before.  Now that I tentatively move outside, I have begun to explore some of the byways our state is known for, primarily because there are fewer people there.  This is a time to write your stories to pass on teachable moments for later generations.  Who knows, there may even be a time when we can hug the grandkids again.  Change is coming and it starts with you.

July 31, 2020

After I did my Wellness Check for Medicare, I received a call from the hospital saying they were trying to schedule me for an ultrasound.  This came out of left field for me as no one had mentioned anything about this in any of the three appointments I ended up having to go to.  I was also miffed as my mandatory Wellness visit had incurred charges, even after I had been informed it would be covered by insurance.  I choose to ignore their call, but they called back.

This time I asked why I needed the appointment, and of course the scheduler did not know.  I called the nurse and left a message.  She told me it was “part of the process.”  The hospital called several times and I finally made the mistake of answering and set the appointment.  After doing so, I wondered what this was going to cost.  I have changed insurance now with Melissa’s work and knew I had a high deductible.  I called and the scheduler sent me to finance.  I was assured since I now had double insurance, it would be covered.  We will see.

When I arrived for my appointment I did not know where to go.  I had been told it was “by Labor.”  I entered and had my temperature taken, then I was told I was in the wrong place.  I was given a guest band and sent down the hall to the MRI unit.  I had checked in by phone earlier, so it was a matter of waiting on the technician.  It was a quick procedure and I was out inside of an hour.  And yes, at least THEY think I am normal.

THOUGHTS:  I marvel that in this time of pandemic our legislators are still trying to cancel what is disparaged as Obamacare.  We have 30 million people who have lost jobs and are on unemployment.  Most have either lost insurance or been forced into new insurance programs.  The only thing keeping many afloat as they struggle with the cost of fighting the disease is this program, and we are trying to make it unconstitutional.  I believe we would get a rapid response if we made these same politicians live with the insurance rates and plans most of us have.  It is past time for universal health care.  Change is coming and it starts with you.

July 30, 2020

In Acho’s latest conversation he sat down with White pastor Carl Lentz of Hillsong Church of New York City.  The central question was why is the American church so divided?  Lentz compared the Christian church to a dirty house.  You intend to clean, but once you start looking you find dirt everywhere and become overwhelmed.  While you may clean some areas, others are too hard, and you ignore them.  When you have a guest, you clean the visible areas, but you always have that one room that becomes a repository for things you do not want to deal with.  That is what we have been doing with racism for decades in the American church.

If this is true, what can we do?  Lentz says you need to start where you are at.  Start with family, friends, and your own place of worship.  Be willing to point out racism and work to change it.  The goal of every Christian is to be like Jesus.  Jesus was always where the hurting people were.  In the Beatitudes Jesus says, “Blessed are the peacemakers,” not “blessed are the peacekeepers.”  We are called to make peace, and that means we need to be willing to find trouble.

There are pastors who claim, “It is not about race, it is about grace.  It is not about skin, it is about sin.”  Acho equates this to DENIAL: Don’t Even Know I Am Lying.  You cannot address a problem if you do not even know it exists.  After an argument over whether White Privilege exists, Lentz said this to the other.  If I am wrong about Privilege, I will have spent my life letting others get the first shot and looking out for their needs.  If you are wrong, what have you lost?  To coin a phrase, “What can it hurt?”

THOUGHTS:  Acho closed with the analogy of the Good Samaritan.  The priest and the Levite both passed the bleeding man on the other side of the road thinking, “What will happen to me if I stop?”  The Samaritan instead stopped thinking, “What will happen to him if I do not?”  Each of us can reach people who others cannot.  King’s “most segregated hour in America” is a good place to start your own uncomfortable conversations.  Change is coming and it starts with you.

July 29, 2020

Covid-19 numbers seem to be spiking in most areas of the country, and that is also true where we live.  Melissa works in Northwest Arkansas, one of the hotbeds of our state.  Sometimes it worries her to drive up every day.  She rarely goes out and then only to specific drive through windows where she feels comfortable.  We live in a town of less than 10,000 and have not had many cases.  As the numbers rise, positive tests have risen in our town as well.  As they increased Melissa became more wary about letting me out of the house.  She “suggested” I needed to order online groceries rather than going into the store.  Last night she took the initiative of ordering for me.

I was surprised several weeks ago when our grocery transformed half of one of their five rows into reserved online pickup spots.  We used these spots early on, but as things appeared to lessen (or maybe I got used to it), it became easier to mask up and get what I needed.  I wondered why they would put so many reserved spots in the front of the store when nobody used them.   When I arrived, there were five or six cars parked waiting for pickup.  They do try to space the deliveries out, so I figured we must have all come at once.

When I got home from my “touchless” delivery, I realized they had not put the lemons in our bag.  I sent a text to Melissa to make sure she had ordered them, then called the store.  They were nice about it and said they would have them ready when I arrived.  I went back to the reserved spots and this time about half of them were already taken.  The lady next to me put on her mask, got out of her car, and proceeded to enter the store.  It irritated me that she used these spaces because they were closer to the entrance.  I was happy to notice she had out of state plates.  At least it was not one of us.

THOUGHTS:  The day I heard about my grandfather’s death I was in a daze.  I had to go to the grocery and aimlessly wandered around.  After selecting my items, I stood in line.  That is when an icy voice come from behind, “This is ten items or less!  You are in the wrong line.”  I looked up and realized she was right.  I apologized and told her my grandfather just died and I was not tracking.  When I encounter events like the woman parking in a reserved space, I remember this time in my life.  What we believe we see may not be the whole story.  Perhaps we should have more compassion.  Change is coming and it starts with you.

July 28, 2020

Following the George Floyd killing and the resulting unrest I have begun to reexplore conversations around race.  One thing addressed in many stories about growing up Black was having to sit down with a parent to have the “talk.”  As a white child I remember sitting down with my mother to have the “talk.”  This consisted of asking if I had any questions about how our bodies are different and then being given a book that explained our differences and how babies are born.  While that happens in Black families, that is not the “talk.”  This talk concerns how to behave when you leave the house or neighborhood and are confronted by whiteness.

I received a Huff Post recently that explored the question of when it was appropriate for White parents to have a conversation about race with your child.  Many parents avoid talking openly because they are afraid it will draw attention to things their children would not otherwise notice.  Researchers have found children as young as two or three already have racial bias, and these are not always consistent with the adults in their lives.  The point was, talking about race did not cause prejudice, but not talking about race did.

Children pick up patterns about their society; like who lives where, how people look different, and who seems to hold different types of jobs.  If the parent does not explain why these inequalities exist and the role of longstanding systemic racism, the child will assume this is justified or even natural.  When a child makes an inappropriate comment, rather than telling them to be quiet you need to talk about what was said, why they feel that way, and explain why you feel different.  Another key is to purposefully demonstrate positive behavior in your own interracial friendships.  One is never too young, nor are we too old, to have the “talk.”

THOUGHTS:  Talking on the streets of Cairo I was told I was rich and did not understand what it meant not to be.  I objected as I literally had $20 in my pocket.  It was pointed out that I had taken three months off work and instead went to Egypt.  I realized, from this point of view, I was rich.  I find much of what I have been reading is of a similar vein.  My thoughts and actions have been shaped by my life experiences.  Lately I have realized that like my understanding of wealth, I also need to be jarred by the reality of another point of view on race.  Change is coming and it starts with you.

July 27, 2020

Melissa has been seeing the hummingbirds at our feeders all summer long.  I sit next to our Bay window where the feeders are located almost every morning and have only seen them on three or four days.  I also struggled with the identification.  All I ever saw was a drab little brown bird that did not show up on any of my identification platforms.  I have taken several pictures of these drab birds, but my identifiers do not even put them in the hummingbird class.  This has been driving me crazy all summer.

When Alex learned I was trying to be a birder this summer, he sent me a thoughtful gift for Father’s Day.  Actually, he sent two gifts.  The first was a lens I could attached to my phone.   The lens could be used for extreme closeups, but also as a 15x power telephoto.  I have taken it out to the field looking for birds, but around the house I am not fast enough to get it on the camera and take a shot of the bird before they are gone.  The second was a field guide to birds in North America.  This will be useful as I expand my birder territory.

The other day on Amazon I ran across another field guide for birds, but this was exclusive to the birds of Arkansas.  It was inexpensive, so I decided to buy it.  When the little brown hummingbird came back, I was able to get a picture.  I looked up hummingbirds in the Arkansas field guide and found a picture of my little brown bird.  It was a Ruby-Throated Hummingbird.  The reason I had not been able to identify it was because it did not have a ruby throat.  It turns out that is only a trait of the males.  The females are drab little brown birds.

THOUGHTS:  I have found it interesting how the male of most species are colorful while the female is innocuous.  I learned from my zoology class in college this disparity was used to attract attention.  The proud displays attract the interest of the females, but also predators.  That keeps them away from the mom sitting on a nest.  Humans have taken the opposite approach, at least over the last centuries.  The females wear the bright plumage in hope of attracting a male who might be a strong provider.  The flash for the males has shifted to possessions and wallets, but this still seems to attract predators.  Amid the changes we now face, perhaps we should all look beyond the flash to what is inside.  Change is coming and it starts with you.

July 25, 2020

The first trip outside the house for my son Alex occurred when he was two weeks old.  We bundled him up and put him in his car seat and took off to one of our favorite fishing spots, Willard Bay.  The seat also served as a carrier, so we did not need to rouse him to carry him down to the water.  Alex was bundled up and doing fine as we began a stint of night fishing.  As is normal, he eventually wet his diaper and we had to change him.  When we unbundled him he began to cry unmercifully.  Did I mention he was born in early January?  As Alex got older, he would jump and shout each time we caught a “bish.”  This welcome to the Great Outdoors has carried on to the love he shares with his own family.

Frankly, I am not sure why this was one of our favorite spots.  We rarely caught fish.  I think it had to do with familiarity.  Utah mostly meant a different type of fishing and fish than I was used to in Kansas.  Willard Bay had catfish and I could use the cat poles I had invested in prior to moving.  I have moved from Kansas to Utah, from Utah to California, from California back to Kansas, and now from Kansas to Arkansas.  Each move meant I needed to relearn how to fish.

I finally got to fish the low water bridge south of town where I work   This has always looked promising and Sunday, I stopped to check the water level.  The water was down but still deep around the bridge.  The water was clear, and I could see dozens of fish hanging on the bottom in about eight feet of water.  I came back a couple of days later and threw out my line.  I tried flies, worms on bobbers, artificial lures, salmon eggs, plastics, and finally stink bait.  While I did get a few strikes on my flies, I caught no fish.  I have always said, if you can see them, they can see you.  There is nothing more frustrating than being able to see what you want and not being able to get it.

THOUGHTS:  Each move I made meant new states, but also different ecozones.  The basics of fishing remain the same, but the habits of the different types of fish adapt to varying climes.  I read the only difference in species of Trout depends on their habitat, what they eat and where they live.  The same can be said about humans.  Our differences derive from our native habitats.  Globalization has brought the world closer than ever before.  Our difference should be recognized and celebrated rather than downplayed or ignored.  Differences are what make each of us unique.  We need to live together celebrating our differences rather than using them for division.  It is frustrating to see what you want and be unable to get it.  Change is coming and it starts with you.